Weathering Life
by Angie Tangen
There was a time when my mind felt plugged into a script I didn’t write. I was off-and-on depressed, disconnected, medicated, and easily triggered. I lived in self-sabotaging mental loops that had me gripping onto feelings of grief, anger, shame, and bitterness. I often found myself powerless, yet I was deeply unaware that another way of living was even possible, let alone within my reach.
Most days were spent sitting at a desk or lying in bed. Movement didn’t exist in my life unless it was something done to me - weekly chiropractic visits, massage, gadgets, surgeries, you name it - they were all external attempts to fix pain no one could touch but me. I had been reaching outward for quick fixes because I hadn’t learned to sit with myself and my pain.
My world had grown small from repeating patterns of rejecting and withholding love. I had very few friends, mostly because I didn’t know how to be one to myself. I made little to no effort to evolve, and my body mirrored this mental state. My life force was depleting slowly, and hospital visits increased. My body was decaying, and I was unaware I was causing its destruction.
In 2023, something shifted very quietly and intuitively. I remember specifically one evening, I had gotten down on the floor to stretch and had paired this movement with cannabis. Together, they opened something inside me. As I stretched, I felt this electricity moving through my body like systems coming back online. I stayed with myself in those moments, intentionally present.
My body, dormant for years, began to express aliveness again. It felt like my bones were rattling awake. This was the start of my revival.
The curiosity of what happened inside my body led me down a path of learning about human fascia, the connective web that runs through our bodies, carrying sensation, energy, and memory.
It all made sense to me. I hadn’t just been physically still; I had been internally bound. Movement wasn’t about burning calories or fixing myself anymore — it was communication. Awakening.
Discipline and routine arrived unexpectedly. I didn’t know I was searching for them, but somehow I knew I needed structure to support this new relationship with my body. I created daily “non-negotiables” movement, fresh air, nutrition, water, and reading or listening to something that would teach me something new. I tracked them, not as punishment, but as devotion to my own homecoming.
It started simply with a commitment to show up differently for my dog. Every day, no matter the weather, I got into the habit of getting outside with my dog. What was good for him was good for me — fresh air and movement became our daily dose of happiness.
After a year of building accountability, this movement led me to a 30-day running challenge that eventually led me to a gym membership. Joining a gym led me to pick up weights for the first time in my life. I didn’t know what I was doing, and I decided not to let that stop me. Curiosity replaced self-judgment. Learning replaced fear. Confidence replaced shame and hiding. Over a year has passed, and I have shed close to 70lbs and 25% of my body fat. All without a plan — I just started moving and re-wiring my subconscious mind one day at a time.
Today, my life feels aligned, and most days I feel empowered. When discomfort arises, I don’t immediately look outside myself for relief and am learning to stay with myself. The changes within my mind and body allow me to be less reactive. I’ve become my own best friend, which has allowed me to be a more understanding and loving friend to others. My insides match my outsides, which feels like a new form of freedom I’d been searching for.
I respect my body as the temple it is, while still allowing myself to enjoy many forms of nourishment in this human experience. Movement is no longer something I force — it is something that sustains me.
What I’ve learned is this: A stagnant body creates a stagnant mind. Trust and accountability in myself were earned through consistency. My health is the result of hundreds of small, often unremarkable decisions to invest in myself. If I had tried to plan this journey, it wouldn’t have unfolded the way it did. To get unstuck, I needed to get to the root of my pain, and intentional movement coupled with cannabis, sparked a remembering within that led me back home to myself, deeply rooted in faith and spirituality.
Movement propelled my healing and awakening. Movement, in all its forms, gave me my life back, and I believe personal revival can lead to global revival.